Saturday, January 22, 2005

Am I a Crazy Lefty?
Over at Right Wing News, they've designed a quiz to see if you're a commie-loving softie. Most of the questions are patently absurd, but let's have fun with it anyway. Here goes:

1) Do you think a significant percentage of prominent Republicans would secretly like to see the US become a theocracy?
No, but I do believe there a number of prominent Republican lawmakers and jurists who resent and try to undermine the separation between church and state.
2) Do you believe it was a mistake to go to war in Afghanistan? No.
3) In your opinion, is it a myth that American soldiers were spit on when they returned from Vietnam? No.
4) Michael Moore's distribution group, Front Row Entertainment, received help marketing "Fahrenheit 9/11" in Lebanon from the terrorist group Hezbollah. Do you believe that was appropriate? "Appropriate" according to whom? In Lebanon Hezbollah is a political party with representation in parliament. So yes, it was a bad PR move for Moore, but he has the right to market his film as he pleases.
5) Do you think you can be a patriotic American and support Iraq's anti-occupation resistance? No. But you can be a patriotic American, and believe that the war was a catastrophic mistake, and that we should leave the country as soon as possible.
6) Do you think there is a significant chance that the capture of Saddam Hussein was timed to help George Bush politically? No.
7) In your opinion, is there a significant chance that Diebold is rigging elections in order to help the GOP? No, but it is possible, particularly when the company's CEO publicly declared his commitment to delivering Ohio to Bush.
8) Is George Bush more "evil" than Saddam Hussein? No.
9) In your opinion, is there a significant chance that Republicans rigged some of the Senate races in 2002? See answer to number 7.
10) Was Ingrid Newkirk right when she said, "There is no rational basis for saying that a human being has special rights. A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. They're all mammals"? What the hell kind of question is that? No. But I'll throw the question right back and ask whether you think human beings have any obligation to diminish the suffering of animals under their dominion.
11) Is there any nation in the world that's more of a force for good than the United States? Yes. There are a number of European democracies that are more committed to building a better, more equitable world than the United States.
12) In your opinion, is the US a "stingy" country? No, but it is not as generous as it could be, and not as generous as some of its peer states.
13) Is there a significant chance that America will become a fascist state in let's say the next 10 years? No, but I do believe the extent to which the military has become identified with the Republican Party is a worrisome trend for democracy.
14) Do you think there's a significant possibility that liberals will be rounded up and put into some sort of camps in let's say the next 10 years? No, but I wouldn't say the same about Muslims or Arabs.
15) Is America an imperialist nation in your opinion? Yes, if you define "imperialist" as a powerful nation which has covered the globe in military bases and attempts to control the affairs of smaller and weaker states. No, if you define "imperialism" as "colonialism."
16) Do you think "losing" in Vietnam was good for America? No. But it was a terrible mistake.
17) Are you sometimes ashamed to be an American? No. But I have felt less safe traveling abroad, and have successfully passed myself off as Canadian.
18) Do you think it's wrong for the President to put the welfare of Americans ahead of the welfare of people in other countries? No.
19) Do you see significant, noteworthy, parallels between America and Nazi Germany? No. What a stupid question. Do you?
20) In your opinion, was Iraq primarily a "war for oil"? Yes, of course it was primarily a war about oil -- it's one of the only reasons we have any interest in the Middle East at all. But it was not primarily a war about Iraq's oil.
21) What about Afghanistan? Was that primarily a "war for oil" as well? No.
22) Do you think it's likely a draft will be declared by the end of George Bush's term? I'm not a fortune teller, but I think no.
23) Do you think Iraq was preordained and planned before 9/11 ever took place? Planned, yes, preordained, no.
24) In your opinion, is sleep deprivation a form of torture? Yes. So is "waterboarding" and a number of other things the U.S. seems to have done quite regularly in Guantanamo Bay and Iraq, in direct violation of the Geneva Convention.
25) Would you prefer that we lose in Iraq? No, I would have preferred not to have been there in the first place. I believe we've already lost in Iraq and that it's just a matter of how thorough the humiliation will be when we leave.
26) Do you believe anyone who goes to Afghanistan or Iraq as a soldier is fighting for an evil cause under an evil commander in chief? Evil, evil, evil. Are these guys capable of thinking in any other terms? The answer is no.
27) Was Michael Moore correct when he said, "There is no terrorist threat in this country. This is a lie?" No.
28) Is there in your opinion a significant chance that the Bush administration either was behind 9/11 or knew it was coming and allowed it to happened? No.
29) Do you think there is a significant possibility that the Bush administration had a hand in Paul Wellstone's death? No.
30) Do you believe that somebody rigged the vote in Ohio during the 2004 Presidential election? See answers to #'s 7 and 9, and quit asking the same question twice.
31) In your opinion, do you think there is a significant chance that the Bush administration was behind the anthrax letters that were mailed out to some members of the media and US Senate? No.
32) Had George Bush lost the election, do you believe there was a significant chance Republicans would have thrown a coup? "Thrown a coup?" Curious terminology. No.
33) Do you believe there's a significant chance that Karl Rove or someone else in the Bush administration had something to do with the last minute appearance of the Bin Laden tape right before the Nov. 2nd election? No.
34) Do you believe comparisons of George Bush to Hitler are appropriate? No, but do you believe comparisons of John Kerry to Neville Chamberlain are appropriate?
35) Do you think Communism could work if the right people were running it? No.
36) Do you believe that black Americans who support and vote Republican are betraying their race? No, people can vote for whoever they like.
37) Do you think people who say Al-Qaeda doesn't exist are right? No.
38) Are the insurgents in Iraq roughly comparable to Americans who fought against the British in your opinion? No. American revolutionaries didn't deliberately carry out the cowardly slaughter of their fellow Americans.
39) Do you believe Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur was correct when she said, "One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purpose are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown"? Again with the repetitive questions.
40) Do you believe there's a significant chance that the US Government knows where Bin Laden is and is deliberately allowing him to remain free? No.

So I've got 3 1/2 "yes" answers, which makes me sane according to Right Wing News. Now, I wonder if they've stopped to take Pandagon's test for Republicans.

Interestingly, most of these questions are conspiracy-theory oriented and have very little to do wth substantive disagreements between the left and the right.


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