Friday, November 12, 2004

Get Saved!
Ok, I give up. I've decided to join the Moral Majority, and you should too. Head on over to Jerry Falwell's site, and give it up for the Faith and Values Coalition . As our favorite radical cleric says:

Without a doubt the most important message of all times is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no other name on Earth, beneath the Earth or in the Heavens above by which a person can be saved except through the name of Jesus.

Man, I thought the most important message of all time was the one store detective Don Brodka left on the answering machine for Marge and Homer after Bart got caught swiping Bonestorm from the Try 'N Save. But I guess I'm just a Godless heathen consumed by the dark forces of paganism. I have but one question before I fork myself over for salvation-- did Christ really die for all of our sins? Because last night I had a Citywide Special at the bar, and it just seems like a PBR and a shot of Jim Beam is a really stupid thing for him to go and die for.


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